Get Over Yourself!

Some people just can’t help themselves and feel the need to publish their love lives online. Yesterday, for instance, I witnessed a break-up. It began with the standard procedure - indicate that you are single. Fine - you’ve done what you feel you need you need to. But then, the drama began. A supportive and loving friend commented on the “heartsie” saying: “Aw, are you ok? :-(.” I may even be able to tolerate that. But here is the kicker - the straw that broke this camel’s back. The response to the question: “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I could just end this post right here and say “Get Over Yourself” but let’s delve into the actual asinine nature of what occurred, and occurs regularly on stalkerbook:

1) When you take the time and effort of updating your relationship status and setting the privacy allowing everyone to see the status of your relationship, you are saying: “hey, look at me! I’m in a relationship right now…I’ll post disgusting pictures of us sucking face next so please watch everything I post on here!” Nobody wants to see it…trust me. Some people may have made this mistake in the past - but those strong enough have realized the mistake and will not do it again. Others..will continue disgusting all of us.

2) So now that you’ve made the conscious decision to open your personal love life up to everyone, the relationship has hit a bump…a rather large one. After deciding to make it “facebook official” (a big step in the land of douches), the relationship has ended. Now, you HAVE to let everyone know that you broke up. So, instead of setting your privacy so that nobody can see it anymore, you decide to post that you are single. The anticipation is probably killing you by this time - what are people going to say?! Guess what….nobody (with a life) gives a f*ck!!

3) Finally…and again, this is the kicker for me…you get a comment! “Awww, I’m so sorry! I have no life either and I wanted to share that with you - can I offer you comfort because nobody wants to talk to me!” Now you have a chance…a chance to prove that you have more of a life than someone else. After you took the time to change your relationship status and show everyone that you are no longer in a relationship, getting the sympathy you were desperately looking for - you now have the chance to illustrate to everyone else without a life that you have slightly more of a life than them. And you say: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Little do you know that this is an EPIC FAIL. Clearly you want to talk about it with anyone possible - why else would you post it on facebook?! WTF?

Apparently there are really people out there that believe everyone wants to know their business - personal business. Guess what? Nobody gives a f*ck! Especially through facebook. Have a problem? Call your friends!! If you don’t have any, then get off facebook and make some! Holy shit! When I saw this, my faith in society dropped even further (you should know that on a scale of 0-100, my faith has dropped below 0). Here at GOY, we believe in personal interactions and having actual relationships - not fake, ass-tastic (yes I made that up) relationships on the Internet through the stalkerbook.

So, to those people that can’t help themselves but post the status of their relationship, only to then act as if it is nobody else’s business…GET OVER YOURSELF!!