Get Over Yourself!

Ah yes…the ritual of which a man and a woman enter a life of wedded bliss. I have two weddings coming up in the next two weeks. This means I will be coming back with some new material. I’m not knocking marriage, but I do know that there are a lot of assholes that come out to party for weddings. It is the perfect time for the guys that are too old to hang out with college kids at the bar to make an ass out of themselves and believe it’s acceptable. Well, guess what, guy? It’s not. But we’ll let you take the dance floor and show us how much you can’t dance.

So what should be expected for the weekend? I have a feeling that some overweight douche will take his shirt off, only wearing a bow tie and think it’s hilarious. Someone will probably wear their tie on their head like a head band. And I won’t be surprised if some perv makes inappropriate comments to a girl that is younger than he thinks she looks. And this is only the beginning.

Rumor has it that this first wedding has a “top shelf” open bar. The underage high school and college kids will try to get some booze. The sluts will succeed…the complete douche bags will not…and then they will try to get the legal attendees to help. The ones that do…are in a class of their own for aiding a douche. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination…I’m sure there’s plenty more to come. So consider this part I of a series on douche bag wedding attendees. Stay tuned.

*Encountered some douche bags at weddings that you’ve attended? Find us on twitter and tell us about it! twitter.com/gtovrurself *