Young Lovers
As the latest ass-tabulous version of Twilight comes out, we here at GOY find it necessary to rage on young lovers. We may have all experienced this stage of lives…but some have never left. To you I say: get a life, damnit! Still not sure of who you are? Let’s go over the basics…
1) You can’t go more than five minutes with out mentioning your other half.
2) You JUST saw each other a day or two ago, but “it feels like forever” since you’ve seen each other. (GAG ME)
3) When you are together in public - you are on top of each other. Some innocent bystanders have actually been found to projectile vomit at the sight of your outgrown middle school display of puppy love.
4) Weekend apart? Not for you…never. And forget your friends ever seeing you. Unless, that is…if your gooey-licious “lover” is with you.
If you still don’t know who you are at this point, then all hope for society is lost. If you do know who you are - I have some unsolicited advice for you: Grow a pair of balls, you whore! I mean really…do you have any form of a life? You can have a “grown up” relationship and also have friends, maybe a hobby, maybe someday…when you grow up to be a big son of a bitch, you will have a life too…oh, and maybe your “lover” will too. So to those “young lovers”…please, for the sake of humanity and any hope of progress in society…
GET OVER YOURSELF!
