Get Over Yourself!

We’re going to have to do a series on this shit. Because this shit don’t stop. This goes out to all those people who just can’t bear to keep all of their personal love inside and private. So they tell the world through facebook. Because we all are dying to know how much you miss your significant other, or when you get to see each other again, etc. So for the first part of the series…we’ll go over the following type of status…”I MISS YOU.”

This can be used alone as “I MISS YOU,” it may mention the significant other’s name and “I MISS YOU,” or my personal favorite - tell us about what you’re doing, then a second sentence that is just “I MISS YOU.” or a countdown of the days until you get to see your significant other. Really? Is that necessary? Does anyone except that other very special person really need to know? Does anyone else WANT to know…I dare say…NO. Not only does anyone else on the planet not even give a monkey’s nut, but is this the best you can do to show someone you care for them? Nothing says “I care about you” more than a facebook status update.  Your affection has so completely consumed your personality that when you are given an opportunity to speak your mind to your entire community of friends all at once, you respond with a revolting display of cyber-PDA.  How helplessly romantic, oops, I mean DISGUSTING!! Why stop there though? We here at G.O.Y. would be glad to offer you personalized facebook pages that are completely dedicated to your need to shoot you net-Sperm all over everyone’s faces, for a nominal fee of course, a small price to pay to really show that special someone that you have a raging boner for them 24/7.

More to come on other ridiculous lover statuses and let’s not forget about the changing of the profile picture!

While it seems so much more practical to just update your status with smut, I think we would all greatly appreciate you exploring your other alternatives, like carving your lover’s name across your heart, building a shrine in their honor, or maybe just not even getting out of bed to get on facebook since you miss them so much. O yea, one more thing:

Get Over Yourself.